Tips to Improve COMMUNICATION with each type

Happy Sunday! I wanted to share a few quick tips with you about how to improve communication with someone you are in relationship with. Below are a few ideas from the book “Becoming Us” by Beth & Jeff McCord, so find your partners type and enjoy! If you’d like to listen you can do so here. If you like to watch you can do that too! Watch over here at YouTube! As a bonus there are also a few tips to know that your partner is Activated (in stress). I highly recommend having you and your partner take this assessment to find your types if you don’t know them. It take about 8 min or so. Alright… on to the blog!

TYPE 8: An activated Eight can: • Synthesize information quickly and act decisively. • Discard those they do not respect.

Ways to Improve Communication with a Type 8 Partner • Keep your comments brief, purposeful, clear, and direct. Allow the Eight to respond whenever they feel the need, and do not be intimidated by their strong stance. They want you to stand your ground and work through the situation with them. • Demonstrate that you are loyal and protective of them and will go the extra mile to back them up with help.

TYPE 9: An activated Type 9 can: • Withdraw and say nothing as well as hide how they are feeling inside. • Show a slight indication of anger in their facial tension.

Ways to Improve Communication with a Type 9 Partner • Develop a safe and warm connection with the Nine before any difficult discussions. • Invite them to participate in the problem-solving process by letting them know you want to hear from them.

TYPE 1: An activated Type 1 can: • Speak in a sharp, curt manner with detailed judgments and criticisms • Bring up accusations related to other issues.

Ways to Improve Communication with a Type 1 Partner • Don't commit "assumicide"-thinking your Type 1 is just judging you. Instead, see how the One is trying to help with their "advice. • Affirm and support the One genuinely based on facts, not just feelings • Repeat what the One said, asking clarifying questions to verify that you're on the same page.

TYPE 2: An activated Type 2 can: • Express emotions intensely. • Extensively express how they feel, why they feel that way, and what they believe others did wrong.

Ways to Improve Communication with a Type 2 Partner • Make sure you are warm, affectionate, and relationally connected with the Two before addressing any feedback. Use positive energy and an encouraging tone. • Discuss anything challenging or difficult privately; speaking in front of others causes the Two to feel a great deal of shame and rejection.

TYPE 3: An activated Type 3 can: • Disconnect their head from their heart and focus primarily on achieving rather than relating. • Speak sharply in short sentences from a desire to solve issues quickly and efficiently.

Ways to Improve Communication with a Type 3 partner • Give them specific and clear examples of what you want them to accomplish and the time frame when you desire it completed; ambivalence in your desires slows them down and frustrates them. • Encourage and affirm them often; be their number one supporter by setting them up to succeed. • Be positive, develop a clear outline, and plan what the positive outcome needs to be for any difficult discussion.

Type 4: An activated Type 4 can: • Become either withdrawn and quiet or likely to voice their feelings and opinions bluntly. • Try intensely to get others to understand their perspective and feelings.

Ways to Improve Communication with a Type 4 Partner • Express your emotions more openly to develop a solid and meaningful emotional relationship. • Be authentic and real or communication with a Four will stall and cease to exis • Express what you admire and appreciate about a Four; do not try to change them.

Type 5: An activated Type 5 can: .Become withdrawn and quiet or angry and enraged it others are cornering them and not respecting their boundaries. • Detach emotions and observe their surroundings but later process their emotions privately.

Ways to Improve Communication with a Type 5 Spouse • Keep the conversation focused on facts and specific details. • Understand that Fives can't always drum up their thoughts and emotions on the spot and may need more time alone to process them fully before expressing them to you.

Type 6: An activated Type 6 can: • Either fearfully withdraw or become highly reactive. Engage in intense mental analysis with any given situation or conflict. • Believe their projections are accurate and real, leading them to redirect their own thoughts, feelings, and motives onto others.

Ways to Improve Communication with a Type 6 Partner • Be clear, direct, and specific on what you are thinking, feeling, and wanting when giving feedback. This keeps them from over-speculating or "catastrophizing”. in their mind what you might say. • Reassure the Six of your support, love, and faithfulness before, after, and even during a heavy conversation. • Create a safe relational atmosphere by often giving the Six support, assurance, and loyalty.

Type 7: An activated Type 7 can: • Avoid unpleasant situations by thinking and planning for more pleasurable alternatives. • Reframe circumstances so they sound better to themselves and to others.

Ways to Improve Communication with a Type 7 Partner • Bid for their attention in an environment that is not too distracting to them. • Try to bring any negative perspective or disposition back to neutral so as not to activate the Seven's reframing strategies. • Bring in positive and affirming information before discussing information that might be more negative or difficult for a Seven to hear.

That’s all for this week!

Remember: “you aren’t what happened to you, you are what you choose to become!”

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