Defense Mechanisms
A Micro Coaching Session
This week I wanted to talk through defense mechanisms for each of the types and then give you a few questions as to how to respond to them when they come up! I explain in much more depth on the podcast.
1st, let’s define defense mechanism… “a mental process (e.g., repression or projection) initiated, typically unconsciously, to avoid conscious conflict or anxiety.”
Below is the title of each types defense mechanism and what that looks like for each type. With each type are two questions that I would normally ask in a coaching session, the questions are pulled directly from the guide sheets I take you through in each of the 3-5 sessions we have together. If you are interested in coaching let’s chat! If you don’t know your type click here to take my free assessment.
Alright, let’s get to it!
Type 8
Denial
People who unconsciously negate something that makes them feel anxious by disavowing its very existence. This can be thoughts, feelings, wishes, sensations, needs or even relationships that are dissatisfactory or upsetting to them.
• How do you usually see it as “helpful”? How does it cause you harm?
• What would it look like to not use denial as a defense mechanism? Give several examples.
Type 9
Narcotization
People who unconsciously numb themselves to avoid something that feels too large, complex, difficult, or uncomfortable to handle by engaging in routines that are familiar and require very little attention and provide comfort.
• How do you typically see your defense mechanism as “helpful?” How does it actually cause you harm?
• What would it look like to not dissociate or numb out? Give several examples.
Type 1
Reaction Formation
People who try to reduce or eliminate anxiety caused by their own thoughts, feelings, or behaviors that they consider being unacceptable, so they react in a manner that is the opposite of what they are feeling.
• How do you typically see your defense mechanism as “helpful?” How does it actually cause you harm?
• What would it look like to be receptive, flexible, openhearted, and forgiving towards yourself and others?
Type 2
Repression
People who hide information about themselves from themselves. This information can be feelings, desires, wishes, aversions, fears, and needs. These are too difficult to acknowledge consciously so they push it down inside themselves in order to control it.
• How do you naturally see your defense mechanism as “helpful”? How does it cause you harm?
• What would it look like to not use repression? Give several examples. What are some more healthy ways you can accomplish what you are wanting?
Type 3
Identification
These people unconsciously incorporate attributes and characteristics of another person into their own personality and sense of self as a way of bolstering their self-esteem by forming an imaginary or real alliance with the person they admire.
• How do you naturally see your defense mechanism as “helpful”? How does it cause you harm?
• What would it look like to not use identification? Give several examples. What are some more healthy ways you can accomplish what you are wanting?
Type 4
Introjection
Instead of repelling critical information and negative experiences that cause anxiety or pain, they introject the information. This means that they fully absorb, internalize, and incorporate the data into their sense of self.
• How do you naturally see your defense mechanism as “helpful”? How does it cause you harm?
• What would it look like to not use introjection? Give several examples. What are some more healthy ways you can accomplish what you are wanting?
Type 5
Isolation
People who avoid feeling overwhelmed and empty by isolating themselves, retreating into their minds, cutting themselves off from their feelings and other people and compartmentalizing their life (separating each part of their life).
• How do you naturally see your defense mechanism as “helpful”? How does it cause you harm?
• In what ways can you work to give more of yourself to others?
Type 6
Projection
People who unconsciously attribute their own unacceptable, unwanted, or disowned thoughts, emotions, motivations, attributes, and/or behaviors to others.
• How do you naturally see your defense mechanism as “helpful”? How does it cause you harm?
• Give three examples of how anxiety inhibits you from seeing reality. How has anxiety played a major part in your life?
Type 7
Rationalization
People who explain their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors to themselves and others in a way that completely avoids or obscures their true motivations, intentions, or the effects of their behavior. They normally turn a negative into a positive.
• How do you usually see it as “helpful”? How does it cause you harm?
• What would it look like to not rationalize? How can you lean into painful feelings and uncomfortable situations, knowing they are part of the human experience and pro- vide the necessary contrast to the positive emotions you seek?
That’s all for this week! If you have any questions feel free to get a hold of me here!
Remember: You are not what happened to you, you are what you choose to become!
-Brandon
